This list was inspired by the book The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney.
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public for as long as extroverts. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neural pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
Very insightful blog, Mr. Boothman. I’m part of a non-profit organization that teaches the Christopher Leadership Course in effective speaking and confidence building. I have seen hundreds of students take the course thinking they were born introverts, only to realize, after learning to build their self-confidence, that they have a voice and they like using it. The transformation we see in our students is simply astounding! It takes a combination of courage and outside support to enroll in such a course — and, sadly, not many people have that. Hence, those people go through life with their gifts and talents remain undiscovered.
It takes all types to make the world go round. So often we fall prey to dualistic idioms adopting or pitting one against the other. So often the extrovert is seen superior. Thanks Nick – for the Introvert “Shout Out”. Carl Jung would be pleased – since he defines 8 personality types.
This is so right.
It’s like if you’d being reading in my soul
Thank you
Nick
Fit me to a T. Dorothea showed me the page and thought so also.
Regina – I would not equate introvert to lacking confidence. I am and have always been a very confident person but very introverted.
Me!!
Thanks for this Nicholas — from an introvert (except when I’m up on stage, wailing away with my guitar)!
they are soooo frustrating to have as a partner!
Nice to have some information out so people understand us better. Interesting that some of the comments miss the point. you don’t switch from being an introvert to an extrovert. Introversion is a way of processing info that isn’t negotiable. It has its strengths, and it’s limitations. And introvert can be on stage wailing and can ‘have a voice’. But they will not stop processing info upside down, right side up and sideways all at once. Hence the need for down time, and the difficulties in just speaking up in meetings where data just keeps coming at you.
Thanks for your insight into introverts nick as an instructor for the christopher leadership program, this information is invaluable for showing us how to reach some of these “quiet reserved’ people. In the future, i will give them the information, let them process it and help them to become “less shy” in groups of people.My partner is an introvert and i am an extrovert, so it is hard for me to envision not wanting to be a part of outside activities, at least now i can understand and be more considerate. thank you nick.
Nicholas thanks for posting…. fits right up my alley to my non designer lifestyle…. As an introvert I always thought I spent so much more time enjoying what was going on around me than all the extroverts who were fighting to be heard over each other…