The three-second rule

Reading time: 90 Seconds

Did you ever miss out on an opportunity because you were too slow off the mark? Or talk yourself out of doing something and then regret it later? Have you ever sat in a bar nursing a glass of wine or beer all night, watching other people enjoy themselves while you never budge or make a move? “I’ll just order one more drink, then I’ll go for it.” “Next time she looks this way, I’ll smile at her.” “Maybe that new guy that just walked in is more my type.” Then you end up disappointed with yourself at the end of the night because you talked yourself out of something or just plain chickened out.

If you just hang around wishing, waiting, and hoping for something to happen, nothing ever will. The more you wait, the greater the chance that the guy you have your eye on will leave, or someone else will join that cute blonde woman for a conversation. Then you’ll have even more reason to beat yourself up for procrastinating.

Go out and assume rapport with three strangers. Make your way over to the person the moment you spot them. In your head count to three, then go over without hesitation. The goal is simply to say something to a stranger, not to start a conversation. You can say whatever you like, but statements are the easiest: just some remark about the location or occasion.

You are creating a new habit, with “one, two, three” as your trigger. Practice, practice, practice—just do it. The key point is that you’ll get comfortable breaking the ice and taking action. The more you practice chatting with strangers, the easier it will become.